Lost
by MikaylaMae
Summary: He woke up in the hospital to the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. His problem? He doesn't remember her, coming to the hospital, or even his own name.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer- nothing but the story itself is mine (and even that is heavily influenced by a book that isn't mine, but I didn't copy)

* * *

PROLOGUE

* * *

A crowd watched as the house burned. The firemen had arrived, but were too late to save the house or anyone inside. It was a large house and the couple who lived there were very wealthy. The man owned a large company and ran it with his brother, but nothing was known of his home life other than he was married and his wife had no living family. 

They were intensely private and only a maid and a cook who both lived with them and the brother had ever known the secret kept within those walls. The brother was away on a trip for several months and could not be reached. The maid and the cook had died in the fire along with the couple.

So, when the fire had been put out and the bodies of the couple and the servants were brought out, it was said that everyone who lived there had died in the fire, and that was what was on the evening report.

No one knew that under a bush in front of the house near the street, a small redheaded three year old sat, quietly waiting for his parents to come find him. He sat and watched as the fire burned his home, and wondered why it was taking so long for his mother and father to come out. If they didn't come soon they would get burned wouldn't they?

He waited as the firemen put out the fire.

He watched as an ambulance came screaming down the street.

He listened as the police arrived and kept the crowd away.

Then he fell asleep.

When he awoke he saw that the fire was out, the firemen were gone, the police were gone, and the crowd that had been watching was gone. He crawled out from under his bush and went into the ruins of his home, hoping to find his parents. Instead there was a lady. She, after finding out he had livedin the burned down house,and remembering there was a brother to the man who lived here, she took the child with her thinking his uncle would pay a large ransom to get him back.

………………………………………………….

Two years passed and despite her many attempts, she was unable to find a way to contact the uncle. He had not returned to the city as far as she could tell, and no one in the company believed her story of him having a nephew. So she took the boy and left him in the woods outside the city, deciding she didn't want to take care of him anymore.

She told him to stay there because nobody wanted him.

So there he stayed, waiting, for what he didn't know, but he stayed.

* * *

Well, I was reading one of my favorite books, and got this idea for a story that I just had to start writing, so I did! I am still writing my other story, and should have another chapter for that out soon, but I really wanted to start on this one. Maybe this will helpstop my writers block for the other one. Well, More of this will probably come before the other, but, well, there it is.I would like to know what you think if you'd like to tell me. 


	2. Chapter 1

Note: I am not using any Japanese in this fic (as much as I would like to),other than a few honorifics. I do carefully research any Japanese I ever use in any of my stories to make sure I use it correctly, and I am trying to learn the language (slowly). I wasn't going to use any, but there are a few things I like that I wanted to use here. I hope I did it right, if I make mistakes I would appreciate any help to correct them. Also, don't expect the characters to be exactly the way they are portrayed in the manga or anime. I did adjust some personalities, not hugely, but some, so please, try not to remind me that they shouldn't act that way. I know. I needed to make those changes (and I do try not to go overboard-if I seem to be doing that, do let me know). One last thing, I am not a professional writer, nor do I pretend to be, but I have tried to at leasteleminate grammer and spelling problems, at the least. If you should catch some glaring problem, please let me know so that I can fix it. (thank you to **Anonymous but very interested**- I did fix those problems, are they better now?).

Disclaimer: I don't like it, but RK isn't mine. Neither is Echoes. (The book that inspired this, and where I pulled many ideas (events, not really the plot itself) for this first chapter (and a few other places in the story later) I don't like that either.

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Chapter 1

"Kenshin?" Kaoru called out. "Would you like popcorn or chips?"

Kenshin, looked up from the movie they had been watching together, just now realizing that Kaoru had gotten up from the couch and was in the kitchen. He hadn't really been watching, more like getting caught up in his thoughts. He'd had a hard life, but whenever he was with Kaoru, things seemed so much brighter and he had been thinking about her again.

"Popcorn is okay, Kaoru-dono."

"Alright."

Several minutes later Kenshin watched as Kaoru came into the room with the promised treat.

"I hope you don't mind, it's microwave popcorn, if I tried anything else I would probably ruin it!" She grinned, knowing he would understand.

He gave her a small half smile when she handed him a bowl and sat down next to him.

Kaoru gave an inward sigh to herself. Kenshin didn't _really_ smile very often. He was so solemn all the time, much like Aoshi, her best friend Misao's boy friend, and one of her own closest friends. She giggled a bit at the thought of Kenshin and Aoshi in the same room alone. Would anything ever be said? Would they even look at each other? She loved Aoshi like a brother, but he was just so serious about everything. Then again, perhaps it was a perfect match. They had _seemed_ to get along the last time he and Misao had come with her to Kyoto, though they had never been left alone long enough to really tell.

"What's so funny?" Kenshin asked when he heard her laugh.

"Nothing." Kaoru mumbled, waving off his question and trying not to laugh even more at his perplexed expression.

Kenshin just shrugged lightly and dismissed it as one of the many little quirks that made Kaoru, Kaoru.

Kenshin studied Kaoru discreetly as she tried to contain her laughter. He never could get enough of her. Not in the two years he had known her. She was beautiful. Long black lashes, sapphire eyes that sparkled when she smiled, satiny black hair that was as long as his, a gorgeously trim body, a wonderful sense of humor, a magnificent personality, in other words she was perfect. And absolutely not for him. He'd always been attracted to her, but recently, he couldn't seem to stop the thoughts of her from flooding through his mind. However, someone so amazing and perfect would never want someone as broken and flawed and stained as him. Besides, he could never allow her to be tainted by him. He knew all this, so he always admired her from afar, kept the relationship between them as just friends. It was more than he deserved but he couldn't stop himself from wanting or needing at least that much. At any rate, he should be grateful it was in her personality to be outgoing and friendly. She was such a people person. She needed people around, and he was just lucky enough that he was one of those people.

"Are you sure it's nothing?" Kenshin asked again a few minutes later as Kaoru was still trying had to contain her laughter.

"Yes!" Kaoru insisted. "I'm sorry, I was just imagining you and Aoshi in a room together, alone, with neither Misao nor I to help a conversation along! I know it's not _that_ funny, but I just can't help it!"

Kenshin looked at her then just shook his head. She was right, it was an amusing thought, but was it really that funny? Kenshin guessed he would just never understand her.

After the movie was over Kaoru went into the kitchen and started cleaning.

"You don't have to do that." Kenshin told her as he put the bowls that had held their popcorn into the sink.

"I know. But won't Hiko-san and Michiko-san be coming home soon? She'll flip if it isn't clean in here."

"It's alright, I can do it, and they won't be coming back to Kyoto for another month. Besides, Shishou always calls before he arrives. Michiko-dono insists on it. She says it isn't nice to surprise me." He told her, then muttered, "Although he thinks surprises are very funny."

Kaoru laughed at his slightly disgruntled expression. She knew Hiko Seijiro had a very strange sense of humor and he loved teasing her red-headed friend. However, she also knew that Hiko cared a lot about Kenshin and he never did or said anything that would truly hurt him. After all, Michiko, Hiko's wife, would never allow it, besides, this was their home (well one of them), and it was Hiko's idea for Kenshin to stay here. She knew that much, but nothing of where Kenshin came from. Kenshin never talked about his past, or even much about himself. What she did know about him had come from their time spent together doing things.

They both like kenjutsu, but he was much better. She knew that after trying to spar with him. He had refused at first then she had attacked him, trying to force him into it. It worked for a minute and she saw the way he moved. It was beautiful but with a deadly grace she had to admit she couldn't match. When he had seen the stunned expression on her face, he stopped, and told her he couldn't anymore. Silly Kenshin, he was so afraid of hurting or scaring her. But _why_, she didn't know.

They both enjoy reading the same books, watching the same movies, and trying new places to eat. The both enjoy running. He could draw, very well. In fact that was how he made his living. Hiko had prodded him into finishing his high school degree, which for some reason that she did not know he had not done and now he was a free lance artist. He designed logos, pamphlets, or whatever else might be needed for companies. He was very good at it too and currently had as much work as he could handle. Those are the kind of things she knew about Kenshin. Nothing very personal.

That was okay though. It was all they needed to enjoy their time together. They did whatever came to them, usually whatever she wanted, when she visited. They always had fun together.

……………………………………………………………………….

"Okay, do one hundred more swings and then you can be done for the day." Kaoru called out to her students.

It was her last class of the day and she was tired. She couldn't wait to get home and take a shower. She'd had two private lessons that morning and three classes that afternoon, plus her own practice time. That took a lot out of a person, but she loved every minute of it.

After her students left, she went to her office to finish a bit of paperwork. Her dojo was doing well and her father would be pleased to see how many students there were now. Her father and mother had been away for six months now, on an extended and well earned vacation, having left his company in the good hands of his partner and friend, Hiko Seijiro.

Just thinking about that man made Kaoru want to laugh. He was so arrogant and full of himself most the time. Well, at least that was what one would assume upon first meeting him. But if you could tolerate his attitude long enough to get to know him (which isn't possible if he decides you aren't worth his time) then there was a fascinating and very likeable man underneath.

Her father, Kamiya Koshijiro, and Hiko, as most everyone called him, had been friends since they were in high school. They had found they both had a love of the sword, but used very different styles, and had argued so often about the differences in their respective styles that they ended up being friends. It was a strange way to start a friendship, but they had discovered so much about each other through their arguments that it resulted in building a large amount of respect between the two. Friendship was inevitable.

After finishing collage, they went into business together. They were very successful and had expanded to several different countries. They kept things running from their two main offices in Tokyo and Kyoto. Kaoru's father headed the one in Tokyo, and Hiko the one in Kyoto.

Kaoru had finished her bachelor's degree in teaching, but more than anything she had wanted to have her own dojo and teach the style swordsmanship that her father had taught her while she was growing up. So she finished her training with her father and he had helped her start this dojo a year and a half ago. She now had a total of seventy-three students, and she couldn't be happier. She was often even getting invitations to teach in other dojo's, some being as far away as Kyoto. She loved getting those ones. It meant that she could spend time with Kenshin

She finished her paperwork and was about to leave when her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"KAORU!" A voice squealed and Kaoru had to hold the phone away from her ear to avoid going deaf. "I'M SO GLAD YOU"RE STILL THERE!"

"Hello to you to Misao and you don't need to yell I can hear you just fine!"

"Oh! Sorry! It's just I am so glad I caught you, I was afraid you had already left and I wanted to catch you before that because we are so close and I didn't want you to be gone when we got there and I don't think I'm making much sense am I?"

"As much as you ever do." Kaoru laughed good-naturedly, pleased to hear from her friend. "So what is it you need?"

"Well we are all going out to Sano's to go swimming then we are going to go watch the fireworks. Want to come? Aoshi and I are nearby; we can pick you up right now if you like!"

Kaoru had to think about it for a minute. She _had_ been looking forward to a nice relaxing shower, then sitting down and reading a book, but how could she say no to going out with friends? In the end it wasn't a hard decision. With the choice of being alone verses being with people, she'd take people anytime.

"Tell you what, Misao. I really need to shower and I don't have my swimsuit with me, so how about I meet you at Sano's in a half hour. Okay? I don't need long."

"Oh, I already thought of that, I brought an extra swimsuit and an extra change of clothes for later, and I don't think Sano will mind letting you use his shower! Okay? Okay. Well we're right outside, so come on out now. We can drop you off here after the fireworks so you can get your car."

Kaoru just shook her head in defeat and smiled. "Okay Misao, I'll be right out!"

……………………………………………………….

Kenshin sat there, incomprehension written all over his face, while his doctor watched him with sympathy.

"Would you like some time alone? Is there anyone you would like me to call for you, Kenshin?" Doctor Nanami asked him.

Kenshin just shook his head in response.

"A tumor?"

"Yes. It's operable, like I said, and we won't know if it is malignant or benign until we can get a sample to the lab. I could do a biopsy, but since I have to operate in the first place, I'd like to try to get the whole mass at once."

Kenshin thought for a moment. A tumor! With all the drugs and killing he had done in the past, that was a way out he had never even thought about, but would have welcomed just a few short years ago. Now that he was actually trying to get on with his life, and found good reasons to live, this came. Funny how life worked wasn't it?

"If it is malignant?" Kenshin asked.

"I will be trying to remove the entire mass, and if I can't, chemotherapy is an option that we will definitely try. It isn't pleasant, but it is often successful. If that doesn't work then we can discuss a few other options."

"And if it is benign?"

"Then after I remove the mass, we sew you back up and you should be fine. Of course I will monitor you for the next few years, but I don't believe anything else will happen."

Doctor Nanami watched Kenshin with concern for a few moments while he tried to process the information. Then spoke softly to him.

"We can schedule the surgery as soon as you feel ready. I can even do it this Friday. I can clear whatever commitments I have to get to you first."

"Do I have to have the surgery? Is there no other way to remove it?"

"No, surgery is the best option." She pointed to the golf ball sized white spot on the x-ray. "As I said we won't know if it is malignant or benign until we remove it. Would you like some time to think about it?"

"No let's schedule the surgery."

……………………………………………………………………..

Later that night, Kenshin sat with his phone in hand. He could do this. After several tries he managed to dial the whole number.

"Hi, this is Kaoru, I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now…."

He hung up with a sigh. Maybe he would try later but for now he decided to just try to sleep.

……………………………………………………

Kaoru flopped on her couch with a sigh. She loved to do things with her friends, but they could really wear her out! It was late and she wanted to just go to bed but she decided to check her messages first. If her parents had called she knew she should all them back as soon as she could.

She picked up her phone and started going through the recent numbers on her caller id. She idly took note of a few students who had called. Then one number caught her eye. Kenshin had called! Kenshin never called. She always called him when ever she was going to be in town so they could get together, but in the two years they had known each other he had never called her. Could something be wrong? She went to her answering machine to see if he had left a message, but there were only two new messages and neither was from him. Wouldn't he have left a message if it were an emergency? She thought for a moment and then realized that she didn't really know what he would do. He was such a private person and he always avoided very personal questions. She had long since decided to let him have his privacy and just enjoyed the things they had in common when they got together.

Kaoru figured the best way to find out what he called for was to just return his call. Looking at the time he called she noticed that it was only a half hour before and it should be okay to call back now, so she did.

"Hello?" His voice sounded slightly groggy and Kaoru recognized she had woken him.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay, I don't mind."

"I just saw that you had called, and I was wondering if everything was alright."

There was a pause before Kenshin answered her.

"I, um, yes… well… not really, no. Kaoru I went to the doctor today. I found out I have a tumor."

"Oh Kenshin, can it be removed?"

"Yes. Well at least my doctor thinks so. I go in for surgery on Friday."

Kaoru thought for a moment. That was three days away, that would give her enough time to cancel her classes and find someone to substitute for the next week.

"Have you called Hiko-san and Michiko-san? They will want to know."

"No, I don't want to bother them with this."

"Kenshin!" Kaoru exclaimed. "Call them! Trust me, they will want to know, and you won't be bothering them. I think they would be hurt if you didn't call them. Look, I will be there soon; I just have to take care of a few things with my classes. Okay?"

"You don't have to come down, Kaoru. I just wanted to let you know."

"I know I don't _have_ to come down, Kenshin. I _want_ to come. I want to be there for you. You are my friend. I like you Kenshin."

"I like you too Kaoru" Kenshin replied so quietly she almost missed it and the even quieter, "a lot."

She was stunned. He never said things like that, and he didn't add the honorific!

"I take it from your silence I surprised you." Kenshin said to her when she didn't reply.

"Yes you did, Kenshin. That's okay, though. I'm glad you told me. I will see you in a day or so, okay?" Kaoru was so happy, maybe he would finally start opening up to her!

"Thank you, Kaoru-dono."

"Your welcome Kenshin, now go back to sleep, good bye for now." Kaoru replied, suppressing a sigh at the quick return of the 'dono'.

"Good night Kaoru-dono."

…………………………………………………………………

After talking to Kaoru, Kenshin thought about what he would say to Hiko when he called him.

He remembered when Hiko had picked him up off the streets. He had been lying in a gutter somewhere in Kyoto, high and with a bullet wound in his leg after a 'mission' gone wrong. He remembered being shot by the gang leader he had been sent to kill. He had killed him right after and barely managed to escape. He hadn't been able to make it back to his gang's hideout, instead, falling limply on the side of the street. He had decided to shoot up right there, hoping to take away the pain in his leg and the memory of him killing. He overdosed in his anxiety to loose himself in the drug. That's how Hiko found him.

Later, while he was in the hospital, Hiko came in and told that after he got out of rehab for the drug use, he would stay with him and his wife. Hiko was big and very intimidating, and Kenshin hadn't dared to go against him.

It was also Hiko who gave him the name he went by now, Kenshin. In the gang he had been involved with, he had been called Shinta at first then Battousai later. Neither of which were his real name, he couldn't remember his real name, so Hiko gave him one that wouldn't be connected with his past.

Hiko had even been kind enough to start giving him formal instruction in kenjutsu, having seen the results of his 'missions'. He had seen that Kenshin had loved the sword and, in seeing his form, told him it was terrible and proceeded to...fix… it. That usually meant he beat him into the ground, but Hiko was careful to never really hurt him and Kenshin knew it. Kenshin had grown to really respect the man and in return taken to calling him Shishou. Hiko never discouraged it, actually (Kenshin thought) he rather liked it.

Hiko had done a lot for Kenshin and Kaoru was right, Hiko would want Kenshin to call him, so, shaking his head to pull himself out of the memories, he picked up the phone to call Hiko.

………………………………………………………

One hour before his surgery Kenshin's hospital room was filled with people. He sat on the bed watching the group gathered there with mixed feelings. He was pleased, confused, embarrassed, scared and he didn't know what else. Kaoru had been correct when she had said that Hiko and Michiko would want to know what he was going through. When Hiko had heard about his plight he had gone out and hired the best neurosurgeon in Japan to assist in the surgery. However Doctor Nanami would still perform the actual surgery.

Hiko and Michiko were here, as was Kaoru. But really surprised him were the three of Kaoru's friends from Tokyo who had come as well. He had met them a few times before when they had come with Kaoru to Kyoto. Kaoru had told him that they had really wanted to meet him. He had gotten along fine with them, but why would they come now? They weren't really his friends, were they? Yet there they were, standing here in his hospital room. Sanosuke, Misao, and even Aoshi!

"So Kenshin, does your head feel a lot lighter without all that hair? At least you will be nice and cool for the summer!" Misao didn't like the depressing atmosphere in the room and tried to lighten things up.

Kenshin's head had been shaved in preparation for the surgery and even though he thought he looked terrible like that, he laughed softly at Misao's comment, grateful for her effort.

"Yea, a lot lighter, I didn't know how much it really weighed till they took it of."

"So, did you keep some? You could have a doll made and use your hair on it." Misao continued, encouraged by his positive reaction.

"Actually, he donated it. There is a foundation here at the hospital that makes wigs for cancer patients. His hair was perfect for that." Kaoru answered for Kenshin.

"Oh, that's so nice!" Misao nearly squealed. "You are so thoughtful, Kenshin!"

"Well, I wasn't using it anymore." Kenshin mumbled, embarrassed at the attention.

"Hey, Kenshin" Sanosuke spoke up. "Megumi wanted me to tell you that she really wanted to be here. She had a unfortunately she had a major exam that they wouldn't let her postpone. She says she is sorry, but she wishes you the best."

Kenshin looked down, feeling completely overwhelmed.

"Thank you." He managed to choke out through his constricted throat.

"Alright, get out of here, all of you!" Hiko decided to shoo them all out, after being nudged discretely by his wife, so he could talk to Kenshin, and he could tell that Kaoru would like to have a moment alone with Kenshin too.

"Are you okay, Kenshin?" Michiko asked Kenshin after the others had left her, Hiko and Kenshin alone in the room.

"Mi, of course he's not okay, he's going in for surgery. Who likes that? It's a royal pain in the neck!" Hiko looked at Kenshin, and then smirked a bit, "Or I guess in his case, a pain in the head!"

Michiko rolled her eyes at her husband's words.

"Sorry Kenshin, you'll have to forgive his sense of humor today, if you don't mind. He's been acting a bit out of sorts lately and it has affected his sense of humor. What I meant is, are you okay with all your visitors?"

Michiko knew Kenshin's shy nature, and reluctance to be around many people. Only she and Hiko knew about his past, and understood why he acted that way. She could also see that he had become overwhelmed with so many in the room at a time, and it couldn't be good for one about to go through surgery to become agitated. That was what was likely to happen with too many in the room for to long.

"It's okay, Michiko-dono. Although I am surprised they would come, I think it's kind of… nice." Kenshin admitted softly, then he added with a small smile, "And I won't let Shishou's jokes bother me as long as you make him promise to give my head long enough to recover after the surgery, before he starts trying to beat it in with a sword again."

Hiko smirked widely and allowed himself a short laugh, to hide to worry he felt.

"See Michiko, he's fine, just as he will be later. This boy is too stubborn to allow himself not to be."

Michiko just shook her head.

"Come on you big idiot. Let's leave him alone, I think there is a certain someone outside who would like to talk to him for a bit."

With that she led Hiko out and shooed Kaoru in.

……………………………………..

"You can come all the way in, Kaoru-dono. It's alright, things will be okay." Kenshin told her when, after Michiko let her in and shut the door, she stayed right by the door looking very nervous. Kaoru, Kenshin knew, did not like hospitals. They reminded her of the time her mother almost died after a bad accident.

Oh, Kenshin, that's so like you. You, trying to comfort me when it should be the other way around, always thinking of others before yourself. You don't have to hide from me how you're feeling, I'll listen."

Kenshin just smiled softly at her and they settled into a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Kaoru-dono, I hope you don't mind me asking, but, why did your friends come?" It had been bothering him since they had arrived.

"Silly! They think of you as a friend too, you know."

"They couldn't think that. How could they? I have only met them a few times, and only when you brought them with you here to Kyoto." He couldn't believe they could think of someone as unworthy as him as a friend. Of course he couldn't believe that someone as wonderful as Kaoru could consider him a friend, much less want to spend as much time with him as she does.

"Of course they do! You don't have to see them all the time for them to consider you a friend. They care about you, that's why they're here, friends always support friends!"

Kenshin just shook his head in disbelief, and then gave her another smile. He seemed to always smile more when she was around.

"Kaoru-dono, I just want to tell you how much your friendship has meant to me and that I appreciate all that you have done, in case anything happens…I mean, well, if I, during the surgery…"

"No Kenshin, don't!" Kaoru nearly cried. "You will be fine, and I'll be right here by your side when you come out afterward, I promise!"

Kenshin took her hand, wanting to keep her from crying and willing to do anything to make her happy.

"Alright Kaoru-dono," He said softly as she smiled in happy surprise at the rare act, now, if she could just get rid of the 'dono'…

…………………..

"How long is it going to take?" Misao complained after the first two hours.

"Misao, it will take about twelve hours, at least, so why don't you, Aoshi, and Sano go back to Hiko's? I'll call you when he's out."

"You could come with us, you know. He'll probably be sleeping for a while after anyway." Misao urged her friend. "Besides, you look so tired, you should try to get some sleep."

"NO! I promised him I'd be here when he was through, and I don't want him to wake up and be alone!" Kaoru insisted.

"Fine, then I'll stay here too." Misao told her stubbornly. "Aoshi and Sano can go."

"No, we will all stay." Interrupted Sano, looking at Aoshi, who nodded slightly in conformation. "Besides someone has to see to it you get some sleep, Jou-chan."

Kaoru smiled at them with teary eyes.

"Well, if you're sure, then thank you, I appreciate the company."

"No problem!" Sano told her, then he paused, "Um, I don't mind saying, but first, we need to eat!" He grinned.

"How about you and Aoshi go down to the cafeteria and bring something back for all of us?" Misao suggested.

Agreeing, the two left, leaving Misao and Kaoru alone.

Misao looked at Kaoru for a minute.

"So, when is Hiko-san coming back?" Hiko had left shortly after Kenshin had been wheeled into surgery.

"He said that he'd be back in a few hours. I know he had some things to take care of, and Michiko went home to take a nap. She wanted to stay, but Hiko-san made her go. He told her that staying here would do neither her nor the baby any good." Kaoru laughed despite her anxious mood. "Ever since he found out Michiko-san was pregnant he has been a bit… well, obsessive about protecting her, especially from herself, it seems. He never lets her overexert herself. It's actually _funny_ to watch."

The girls sat and talked until Sano and Aoshi returned with the food. After they had eaten, Misao and Kaoru laid down on the couches to try to sleep for a while, using the guys' laps as pillows. Kaoru tossed and turned for a while, then sat up after Sano protested.

"Geez Jou-chan, you need to relax."

"I know Sano, but I can't help but worry and I can't settle down. I'm sorry."

"Hey it's alright. Here, why don't we play a game for awhile." He pulled out a deck of cards and waved them in offering.

Kaoru grinned sat down on the floor with him, "Okay! Thanks Sano, you're the best."

The played for sometime before Misao woke allowing her and Aoshi to join them.

They played until Kaoru fell asleep on the floor. Sano picked her up and laid her on the couch.

"I knew she was tired, she just needed a good distraction. She hasn't gotten much sleep the past few days because she has been worried about Kenshin." Misao whispered as Sano sat down to resume their game. They played until Sano was too tired, then while he went to sleep, Misao and Aoshi read.

Kenshin had been in surgery about ten hours by the time Kaoru awoke.

"Hey Sano," Misao shook him awake.

"Hmm?" He replied sleepily.

"Do you want to go get us something to eat again? I'll buy this time."

This woke him. "Sure." He noticed Kaoru was awake. "Hey Jou-chan, why don't you come with me?"

"I can't. I need to be here."

"Oh, come on. It's just the cafeteria, we won't even leave the hospital, besides, it will do you good to get out of this waiting room for awhile, and we won't be gone long." He persisted.

Kaoru relented and they left.

"She really cares about Kenshin, doesn't she?" It was more a statement than a question, but Aoshi answered anyway.

"Aa. And, if I'm not mistaken, he cares much for her."

"Really? Oh, I hope they get together! They'd look so good together and I bet she could get him to really smile!" Misao laughed and Aoshi nodded in agreement.

They didn't know Kenshin well, but not even Kaoru knew him well, and she had spent the most time with him. However, they had begun to think of him as a part of their group, and cared for him as such.

"When Kaoru first told us about him I wasn't sure I'd like him. I mean, he sounded so cold. But, I'm glad we met him. It's too bad he won't move to Tokyo, though. I think it would be good for him to be around us more, Don't you think, Aoshi?"

Aoshi gave his girlfriend a smile, something he only did for her, and every now and then, his closest friends.

"Of course, Misao." He waited for her to grin at his agreement, as he knew she would, before adding, "But you know, you used to say that I was to cold too."

She looked surprised, then laughed. "Yep, I did! I'm glad I was wrong, though!"

A bit later Kaoru and Sano returned and they ate and played more games until finally, the doctor came out.

"How is he?" Kaoru asked anxiously.

"He's fine, but he's sleeping now, and probably will the rest of the night. However, you may see him if you like." Doctor Nanami told them. "But only one at a time, please."

They followed the doctor to the room where Kenshin had been moved to recover.

"Go on, Kaoru." Misao urged her. "We can wait until later, after he's awake."

"Why don't you go to Hiko-san's now, since he's out, and come back in the morning?" Kaoru suggested. "I am going to stay in here with him until he wakes anyway."

They agreed and left her alone with Kenshin.

…………………………………………………….

Kaoru woke when she felt something shift. She looked up and realized she had fallen asleep with her head on Kenshin's bed, and it was Kenshin who had shifted. She waited, hoping he was going to wake up.

As she saw that he was trying to open his eyes, she rang the call button to alert the doctor, so there would be someone to help if he woke in pain. She smiled as his beautiful amethyst eyes came into view.

"Hi." Kaoru said softly. "I'm glad you're awake, I thought you might sleep forever." She teased gently.

Kenshin made a move like he was trying to sit up.

"Here, let me." Kaoru told him and she pushed the button to raise the bed.

"Oh, good, you're awake." Said Doctor Nanami who had just come in. "How are you feeling?"

Kenshin tried to answer, but his throat was to dry to do more than let out a little croaking sound.

The doctor quickly handed him a glass of ice chips that she had brought in with her and started checking his bandages.

"Well, I have good news! The tumor was benign, so all we need to do is let you recover from the surgery for a few days, and you can get out of here." Doctor Nanami paused when Kenshin didn't respond and glanced at him before continuing to check up on him. "Are you in pain Kenshin?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm a bit confused." Kenshin said with a small frown. "I don't know who you are."

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I hope this will interest some readers. I'd appreciate you letting me know what you think.

I will be trying to update this everyweek or two, I might alternate between this and my other story depending on how fast I type. My thoughts flow much faster than my fingers do over the keyboard, and I also can't neglect my girls, husband, house, or any other obligations that come up. If that means I stay up really late writing, I will. I am excited about writing this story and I have most of it planned out, I just have to write it in story form. I hope you enoy it!

Oh, I want to thank DragonWolfStar, akisu-san, andAnonymous but very interested for reviewing. It was much appreciated!


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer; I hate this (especially since this is the second time I had to do this for this chapter, my computer did something strange, and I lost everything I had done before) but, I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin characters, or Echoes. I only borrowed.

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Chapter 2

Hiko, Michiko, Aoshi, Misao and Sanosuke were all staring at her in disbelief

"It's as I said, Kenshin has lost his memory." Kaoru was standing in the hallway outside of Kenshin's hospital room, the door shut behind her, facing the others and trying to keep her patience.

"He has amnesia?" Hiko asked. "What is this, a soap opera? Who really gets amnesia?"

Kaoru clenched her jaw and willed herself to keep back the tears that had been threatening to spill since Kenshin had woken two hours earlier.

When Kenshin had expressed his confusion, Kaoru had had a difficult time not running out of the room in tears. She had excused herself as politely as she could, saying she needed to call Hiko, Michiko and her friends to let them know Kenshin was awake. On the phone she struggled to keep her voice even, letting Hiko know only that Kenshin was awake. She couldn't bring herself to tell him about the memory loss yet. She couldn't hardly admit it to herself at that time. She found Dr. Nanami and talked to her to find out more about his condition. Then sat down in the hall to wait for the others to arrive.

"Well, girl, don't just stand there, tell me what you know" Despite the words, Hiko's tone betrayed his worry.

"According to his doctor, the tumor was in the area that controls the memory. When they removed it, somehow his memory was affected." She sighed heavily. "She doesn't know for sure if it is permanent or not, but she believes it isn't, since she has heard of this happening before. Hopefully he will regain everything he has lost."

Kaoru protested as Hiko gently pushed her out of the way.

"Don't pester him right now, Hiko-san!"

Hiko scowled at her. "What do you take me for, girl? I just want to talk with him, I'm not going to pester him."

The others watched him enter the room, feeling helpless as they waited for him to come back out.

………………………………………………………

"Kenshin?"

Kenshin looked up. "That's what they tell me my name is."

He looked at the large man warily.

"Do you remember me at all?" Hiko wanted to know.

"I'm sorry." Kenshin said, shaking his head slowly.

"I'm Hiko Seijiro, your master and friend." Hiko told him, hoping that might trigger something.

Kenshin just looked more confused at Hiko's statement. "Master? Am I a slave of some kind?" He asked hesitantly, hoping it wasn't true.

"Slave?" It was Hiko's turn to be confused, but he quickly figured it out. "Oh, no. I teach you kenjutsu. You are the only apprentice to the Hiten Misturugi Ryu. You usually call me Shishou, the more formal and archaic form of master. Does any of that sound familiar?"

Kenshin thought about it for a little while.

"Not really. I'm sorry." He apologized again.

Hiko had to keep himself from sighing and running his hands through his hair in frustration. It would do neither of them any good for him to get upset.

There was silence for a few minutes and Hiko was about to take his leave when Kenshin spoke again.

"May I still call you Shishou?" He asked quietly.

"Of course." Hiko gave him a smug grin. "You are still my deshi, even if you don't remember. I've spent too much time training you. Your body may still remember the forms, even if your mind doesn't at the moment."

"Thank you." Kenshin nodded, then nervously asked "Um, how long have I studied under you as your apprentice?"

Hiko paused a moment before answering. It was an interesting question.

"You have studied, formally, under me for about two years now."

"Formally?"

"Yes. Before that you didn't really know me."

"How did we meet then? You said I didn't know you, did you know me?"

"Somewhat." Hiko proceeded to tell Kenshin about how, when Kenshin was a child about five or six, he would watch through the fence as Hiko practiced his kata in his back yard. How he could feel Kenshin's excitement as Hiko ran through the forms. And how he would slow them down so Kenshin could see them better and how, to his astonishment, Kenshin would try with some success to mimic them, when he didn't think Hiko was watching. Hiko told him of trying to talk to him through the fence, but Kenshin would run away at that point.

"If I had of realized how good you would become, just by watching, I would have put more effort into finding out who you were and taken you in as my deshi then." '_It sure would have saved me and many others, including you, a lot of problems.' _He added to himself.

So, did I later find you to ask you to teach me formally?" Kenshin asked when it looked like Hiko was finished.

'_I wish that were how it was.'_ "No, I found you. You were injured and I took you to the hospital, then took you home."

"How was I injured?"

"You had been shot in your leg."

"I had been shot? Why?"

This time Hiko gave in to the feeling to sigh and ran a hand through his hair. This wasn't a good thing to be telling someone who had just gone through surgery and lost their memory.

"I get the feeling that you don't want to tell me about that." Kenshin had seen Hiko's hesitation.

"Kenshin, you didn't have an easy life before I found you. There was a lot you did before I took you home with me. You were a part of a gang, you did drugs, and that's just the beginning. However, much of what you did, you were forced into, unwillingly, and you need to know that. I think, perhaps, you should learn more about your life as it is now before you learn about the past. I think that would help you keep things in a better perspective."

Kenshin nodded, accepting his answer only because he really had no choice. He was in no position to be arguing. He was feeling tired, confused, frustrated, and his head was aching. It was all he could do to keep his face blank and not show the fear he felt welling inside him. To rely on people who, to him, were complete strangers, to have no recollection of any time in his life, to not even have a sense who he, himself was, was a most disconcerting and upsetting sensation and it left him feeling utterly lost.

"Perhaps, then, you could tell me about now, then." Kenshin was struggling to stay awake now, but he also wanted to know as much as he could about who he was.

"It can wait." Hiko told him, seeing how tired Kenshin had become, and reading the fear in his eyes that Kenshin was trying hard to hide. "You have several friends here who would like to see you, but I believe it would be best if you got some rest first."

Kenshin nodded again and was asleep before Hiko left the room.

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The others all looked up as Hiko came out of Kenshin's room and shut the door behind him. He could read the questions in their eyes and answered before they could ask.

"He doesn't remember me." Before anyone could respond Hiko turned to walk away. "He is sleeping now so don't disturb him. I'm going to talk to his doctor." With that he disappeared down the hall.

"I told him that." Kaoru said flatly, her voice muffled as she had leaned her head down to rest on her knees. She was sitting on the floor next to Kenshin's door.

Michiko walked over to her and brushed her hand over the girl's hair in a comforting gesture.

"Oh, honey, you know how that stubborn man is. He just needed to see it for himself. This is hard for him too, you know."

"I know. But why did this have to happen? What do we do now? How can we help Kenshin if he doesn't even know who we are?"

"I'm not sure, but perhaps just being here for him will help. He needs to know he isn't alone, even if he can't remember who you are. This isn't going to be easy for him and I imagine that he will appreciate your company."

They lapsed into silence as Kaoru thought about that. The silence continued for a while as they waited for Hiko to return when Aoshi, ever the observant one, noticed Kaoru had fallen asleep in her place on the floor.

"Sanosuke." His tone was low, not wanting to wake Kaoru or Misao, who had fallen asleep at his side.

When Sano turned to see what Aoshi wanted, he spotted Kaoru. He needed Aoshi to say nothing else. Seeing that Aoshi would need to take care of Misao, he walked over to Kaoru and deftly scooped her into his arms.

"Come on, Jou-chan, we're going back to Hiko's." He murmured.

Kaoru awoke as she heard Sano's voice and found herself in his arms.

"Wha…? NO! I have to stay. I need to be here for Kenshin! If I go he might wonder where I am!" She fought against Sano, but he only tightened his hold on her.

"Why would he? He doesn't even remember who you are."

Sanosuke sometimes tended to be very blunt, and the hurt that statement caused must have shown clearly on her face because he immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry, Jou-chan. I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did." Kaoru responded sadly, "And you're right, I know he doesn't."

"Look, just come with us, you could use some decent rest in a real bed. I bet you didn't sleep at all last night after we left."

"Yes I did." She insisted.

"When?" Sano looked at her very skeptically.

"Um…well….I…" Kaoru stuttered a bit, she couldn't lie, her friends knew her to well for that.

"Let me guess," Sanosuke interrupted, "You fell asleep early this morning, probably just before Kenshin woke up. Am I right?"

"Yes." Kaoru mumbled.

"That's what I thought. You're coming with us, and you don't get a say in the matter."

Kaoru looked over at Aoshi who had also stood and picked up Misao.

"She didn't sleep last night. She was too worried about you." Aoshi responded to her questioning look.

Kaoru then looked at Michiko, hoping to get her help in convincing them to let her stay. But before she could even open her mouth Michiko shook her head.

"Go." Michiko had been watching the interaction with a smile. She had always enjoyed the relations in this group of friends. They took such good care of each other. "I will stay. Seijiro and I will be here in case Kenshin wakes so he won't be alone."

Kaoru sighed in defeat, then smiled at Michiko's use of Hiko's first name. She was the only one Hiko ever allowed to use it.

"Fine." She knew when she was beaten and agreed to go with her friends, but when they turned to leave she protested again.

"Put me down, you big rooster, I can walk!"

Sano only tightened his grip again in answer and Kaoru, finding herself really to worn out to complain to much, gave up and dropped her head to his shoulder, promptly falling fast asleep.

She awoke several hours' later, feeling rested. She hadn't woken when Sano had put her in the car, taken her out, or put her in bed, she had been that tired.

'_I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I've hardly slept the last few days. I guess between worrying about Kenshin and making sure my dojo is taken care of hasn't allowed me much time to rest.'_ Kaoru thought.

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An hour later, Kaoru was pacing back and forth in front of the door to Kenshin's room at the hospital, battling her nerves and trying to force herself into the room.

"What's wrong, Kaoru?" Misao had stayed with her while Aoshi had gone out to take deal with a problem with his work. Bored and not wanting to deal with a lot of girl talk (which he was sure would occur with Kaoru and Misao together, the only thing worse would be to add Megumi to the mix), Sanosuke had tagged along with Aoshi. "Don't you want to go in?"

Kaoru sighed, "Yes, I do."

"But…?" Reading her friends body language was all too easy right now for Misao. The tenseness in her form said she was upset, the hand running through her hair and biting on her lower lip, she was nervous, the pacing, she was agitated, the frown, well, obviously she was thinking and was unhappy with whatever thoughts were popping up. She could effortlessly guess why her friend was upset, however, that didn't explain why she wasn't going in to talk with Kenshin. True, he couldn't remember anyone or really anything at all, but shouldn't that make Kaoru want to be with him all the more, just so he didn't feel so alone, as surly he must. Misao couldn't imagine what it would be like to loose everything like that, to have nothing, not even a sense of self. She widened her eyes as it truly hit her as to what Kenshin was facing.

"Kaoru, you need to go in there. He needs a friend, which you are to him, and always will be, whether he remembers or not."

Kaoru looked at her friend. "I _know_ Misao. I really do. But I am so nervous to see him. I know I'm being a coward, but…" She paused, what was she afraid of? That he wouldn't like her? That he wouldn't want her to be here with him? If it were any one else she didn't think she would be having this problem, but this was Kenshin. There was something special about her relationship with him. She loved the time they spent together because they had so much in common. She loved doing new and exciting things and so did he, but the way he went about things, with an air of quiet calm, that she knew she would never possess. It fasinated her and she drew strength from it. She was much like Misao, always hyper, yapping away about everything, and he seemed so cool and serene about everything.

'_So, that's what it is. You like him.' _"I don't think you should worry about that. Right now what he needs is a friend. You are that. And, I'm sure he realizes that, after all, it was you who he woke up to this morning, wasn't it? Now, no more of this, just go in there." With that, Misao opened the door, pushed Kaoru into Kenshin's room and shut the door behind her.

'_Whew. I'm not used to being the serious, down to earth one!'_ Misao thought, grinning to herself. Usually she was bouncy, overly happy, and seemingly everywhere at once. She tended to have a hard time sitting still long enough to be serious, unless she was helping her Aoshi, and she really didn't like the gloom and doom and illness and death that were hospitals' any more than Kaoru did, so why had she wanted to stay again? Oh yea, she was good at cheering people up, and Kaoru definitely needed cheering up, not to mention support, and a physical push to get her in the room. Those things she could do just fine _'Well, guess all I can do now is wait… I hope Aoshi will be back soon."_

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Kenshin sat looking over contents of his wallet, which were spread out over the blankets covering his lap, and fighting the rising panic that was threatening to take over his mind. He didn't recognize any of it.

Name: Himura Kenshin

Date of Birth: December 30, 1983

Height: 158 cm

Weight: 48 kg

Hair Color: Red

Eye Color: Violet

He held a drivers license in his hand, however neither the picture on the license, nor the information it provided were familiar. It was his, that much he knew. He had a hand mirror a nurse had provided and the face that looked out at him from that and the face on the card were the same, but he recognized neither. How could one not know their own face?

Several doctors had been in to visit him. They all told him his condition was not permanent; he had had surgery to remove a tumor, which was a success. The entire mass had been removed and it was found to be benign, so there would be no need for chemotherapy. He should be as good as new in a few days.

Except for the fact that he had no life.

He could only hope that their predictions of it being not permanent were true. And that scared him more than anything. They could be wrong.

He picked up the hand mirror once again and studied his features. Pale skin, red hair, light lavender eyes. Then there was that strange scar that marred his left cheek in the shape of a cross. One line stretched from just outside of his left eye down past his mouth toward his chin, the second crossed it in the opposite direction starting from underneath his left eye on the inside and down to the side of his chin. It was a very strange mark indeed and surely out of everything; he should be able to remember that, shouldn't he? But, try as he might, all he came up with was a giant blank spot. Nothing. It didn't look familiar in the slightest. He set the mirror and license back down and stared listlessly at the rest of the contents. There was a total of thirty-two dollars and twelve cents, there was a credit card, his drivers license, an old receipt, an a few business cards with his supposed name and proclaiming his position as a freelance artist. There were no pictures.

The giant man, calling himself Hiko and insisting he refer to him as that or Shishou, had come back and told him that when he was released, he would come home with him. He would be welcome to stay with him, as he had been before, for as long as he needed. For that Kenshin was immensely grateful. It comforted him to know that someone he couldn't remember thought enough about him to care for his welfare. Especially given the terrible past Hiko had told him he had. But he couldn't remember the gang, he couldn't remember the drugs, he couldn't remember whatever else there might have been, and he couldn't remember meeting Hiko or his wife Michiko, who he had apparently spent the last five years of his life with.

He lifted his head as his door opened and he recognized his doctor as she entered. She checked his charts, which were frequently updated by the staff, then sat down to talk with him.

"I've talked to your friend, Hiko-san, and he has assured me that he, his wife, and a few of your friends will be staying in town to help you adjust to things."

"Friends?" _'Who is she talking about? As far as I know, I have none.' _Kenshin was a bit confused by that, after all, only Hiko had been in to talk to him. He assumed the girl that was there when he woke this morning was just a volunteer since she hadn't been back.

"Oh, yes, you remember that cute girl who was here this morning?" At his nod she continued. "Her name is Kaoru and she was here the entire time you were in surgery, along with three others, then, after you came out, she stayed the entire night with you while the others left to sleep. I don't believe she slept at all last night. The others forced her to go and get some sleep. According to Hiko-san, you spend a lot of time with her. She, and most likely the others, should be back soon now."

He looked a bit surprised, but didn't comment.

"I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now," the doctor continued, "but you should accept all the help and support they offer." Then she proceeded to give him advice that he'd need to follow for the next few weeks, mostly things that were only common sense, like not to over exert himself physically and keep to a healthy diet. Then she watched him carefully as she told him to limit his amount of alcohol intake.

"I don't drink." He said without thinking.

She smiled, "How do you know that, Kenshin?"

He looked at her in surprise, "I don't know."

She nodded, "Well, you are right, you don't drink. We had a talk about this before your surgery, you told me then that you didn't because you tended to react badly to it, and had sworn never to drink after you came out of rehab for your previous drug addiction. It was a very smart move on your part, I believe."

Kenshin realized then, that there were some principles and concepts in his head that he couldn't remember learning, one especially stood out. It was that he was worth something as a person and he needed to learn that. Why that would be so important that he had needed someone to try to teach that to him, and why he didn't quite believe it, he didn't know, but he didn't. That was strange, after all, what person isn't worth something?

Dr Nanami smiled at him again, and patted him on the knee. "It won't be as hard as you think, just lean on your friend for now, from what I have seen, they are more than willing to help."

Kenshin sat and pondered her words for a while after she left. He glanced down at the things spread out over his lap. He found the lack of pictures disconcerting, was he that solitary? His thoughts turned to the girl from that morning, Kaoru, the doctor had said her name was. They were friends. She really was beautiful and he suddenly found himself wishing that there was more to that relationship than that so he could realistically allow himself to lean on her. 'Friends' limited the amount of communication. If she were 'girlfriend' or 'wife' then he might have been justified in collapsing completely, which he was dangerously close to doing now.

His breath caught in his throat and his fingers clenched around his blankets and wallet contents. As he struggled for control, breathing in short little gasps, he found his sight blurring as he tried to gather his things to put away. He looked up quickly when the door opened again, and Kaoru entered quietly.

"Hello, Kenshin." She could see immediately that he was having a hard time at the moment. Really she couldn't blame him. She, however smiled and decided that she needed to act as cheerful as she could, for his sake.

"I know you don't remember and I'm not sure if you were told, but I'm Kaoru. I'm a good friend of yours."

"I was told a bit. I'm glad to meet you." He stopped, then added, "again, I guess."

She grinned, "Yes, again, but we _are_ good friends and I'll be around a lot for a while, helping you while you recover, so I guess you'll have to get used to me again!"

"I appreciate that." Kenshin told her sincerely, "But, I don't want to be a burden."

Kaoru's smile faltered at that, then strengthened. "Oh, Kenshin, you are never a burden."

* * *

Okay, before anyone corrects me, I know I have the date wrong on Kenshin's birthday. I did it on purpose (not to mention this is set in modern day). You'll see why later. 

Well, I hope this was a decent chapter. I would have liked it longer, but I have discovered that I need to write Kenshin's background in story format, just for myself, in order to keep things straight. I have many notes, and a timeline for things, but they are a bit muddled now, due to little girls writing on them and trying to tear them apart. So, I have towrite it, before I lose it all. So, that might make it take a bit more time before my next update. I apologize, but that should make the story much better, plus, it should make later updates quicker. Also, if anyonedecides they areinterested in the back story that I will be writing, let me know. I haven't decided, yet, if I will post it, but I will if there is an interest in it, though I wouldn't post it until after I'm finished with this.

Oh, I was asked if I cut Kenshin's hair. No, I shaved it. It's all gone. I'm sorry, but it was necessary for his surgery.

I want to thank everyone who is reading this, I do hope you enjoy it. And, if you see any glaring mistakes, please let me know, I am more than willing to fix them.

I also want to thank all my reviewers; **DragonWolfStar, Onhiro, Anonymous but very interested, starfruit-22, Plutobaby494, Naoko, windy**, and **zop**. I really appreciate you, and hope you continue to find this story to your liking.

So, all that being said, I believe you are finished here! If you like, review, I'd live to hear from you. If you don't want to, well, that's okay. I wish you all a good day! (or night as the case might be)


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: RK isn't mine. We all know this so there isn't any reason for me to suggest otherwise.

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Chapter 3

Kenshin sat on his bed staring at the picture in his hands and thinking. It had been two days now since he had been released from the hospital. Kaoru was staying by his side as she had promised, happily chatting away about the things they had always done together and her friends, and anything else she could come up with, trying to fill in blanks as best she could with what little she knew about his life, or just staying by his side so he wouldn't feel alone. Hers was a comforting presence.

"Hey Kenshin, you okay?" Entering the room, Kaoru sat down beside him. "What did you find?" She asked, noticing the picture.

"I did this." The half question, half statement peaked Kaoru's curiosity.

"May I see?"

Kenshin handed it to her silently.

"Oh!" She exclaimed softly. "Wow!"

She studied the picture for a few moments more.

"This bothers you?"

Looking at his expression and the way he held his head, she could tell it did.

"It's me." He informed her, though it was needless.

"Yes" She agreed gently.

"Why would I draw something like this?" She could almost feel his confusion.

Kaoru watched Kenshin study the drawing for a little then turned her attention back to the drawing also, taking it from his hands for a closer look.

It had been done only in black ink. It looked like a samurai in gi and hakama and he looked like he may have been wounded in a fight or was just tattered from neglect. He was sitting against a wall, likely outside from the stones and debris around him. One leg was bent up close to him, the other folded beneath his raised knee. He had a sword resting against his shoulder, arms loosely curved around it, but the sword was bound with a chain rendering it unusable. However, the most striking aspect about the picture was the face. The man in the picture was clearly Kenshin, detailed down to the cross on his left cheek. His face was tilted downward, but Kaoru could still see the utter hopelessness written there.

"I'm not sure." Kaoru finally answered, "But it could have something to do with your childhood."

'_Great, psychobabble'_ thought Kenshin with a bit of frustration. "My childhood?"

Kaoru sighed lightly before answering. "Kenshin, I don't know a lot about you from before we met, you never talked about your past. All I know is the little Hiko-san has recently told me."

"And what he told you would explain why I would draw this?" He waved his hand toward the drawing still in Kaoru's hands.

"I couldn't tell you for sure, but, from the way you talk and a few conversations we've had, you think that you're…well…it sounds kind of strange…"

"Try me."

"Unredeemable."

"Unredeemable?"

"I don't know if that is exactly the right word, but it fits."

"Can you explain?" Kenshin was confused. Why would he think himself unredeemable?

Kaoru took a deep breath. "Well, you think you're unworthy. Also there is something that you feel you have to atone, somehow, for, but you don't believe you can. Sometimes, when you think no one is looking, you get an expression that clearly says you believe you're unfit to live."

"Why?" Kenshin asked softly, almost hesitantly.

"Hiko-san mentioned you lived with a sort of gang since you were about five and that they forced you into doing things. He didn't say what, but he sounded disgusted when he said it. He also mentioned you had been involved with drugs, which I guess isn't really surprising with being involved in a gang. Hiko-san said that after you came to live with him; you did all that you could to make restitution for the things you had done. That's all I got from him. You, however, can't seem to stop feeling guilty long enough to forgive yourself."

"I told you that?"

"Not in so many words"

"Maybe you're mistaken."

Kaoru pointed to the picture was still holding, as evidence. "What do you think?"

From his expression, Kaoru could easily guess what was going through his head at that moment and quickly intervened. "Kenshin, you are a wonderful person. You are giving and kind and selfless, almost to a fault. Your past shouldn't matter now. What matters is how you are now!"

Kenshin looked startled for a moment at her interruption, then his expression turned briefly grateful at her words before being overcome by a sad, almost forlorn look.

"_I_ don't know how _I_ am now. _I_ don't know _me_, Kaoru-san. I don't know you, or Hiko-san, or anyone." He whispered, almost to low for her to hear.

Kaoru was stricken. She hadn't forgotten. Oh no, how could she? He didn't even address her the same anymore. But she hadn't taken into account how her statement might affect him. She needed to be more careful.

"Kenshin, what do you feel when you look at that drawing?"

He studied it again. "Nothing"

"Do you feel guilt?"

"No, I can't remember anything to feel guilty for." He looked slightly hurt having to admit that, but Kaoru rushed on.

"I'm thinking you should hold onto that, and when your memories do return, you should remember that feeling."

"What feeling? I don't _feel_ anything."

"You don't feel guilt. You have changed your life completely. You have turned yourself into someone new. You are a _good _person. Remember that. The rest you should just let go."

Kenshin didn't reply, but he was thinking.

Let it go. Right then he would have been happy to have the guilt. That would at least mean he could remember. He tried not to look at the picture as he searched for something, anything, even the smallest memory. He continued to draw nothing but a dark void and the ever rising sense of panic that made his heart race and sweat bead up on his forehead. He swiped his hands through his hair as he rose and started pacing the room.

"I need to go for a run." He blurted, not knowing where it came from, just that the need to do something physical, to move, was overpowering.

"You can't Kenshin. The doctors said you can't do that kind of physical activity for at least a couple of weeks.

"Then I'll go see if I can remember how to use a sword."

"_No_ Kenshin."

His breath started speeding up to match the heavy pace of his heart. "I _have_ to Kaoru-san. I _need_ to get out, to _do_ something." His panic at the continuing darkness that was the void of his memories was almost overwhelming and he felt as if, if he didn't do anything, he would be consumed by that void.

Kaoru rose from the bed to put a calming hand on his shoulder. "Kenshin, I'll tell you what. How about we go out together? Hiko-san and Michiko-san said they wouldn't be back until late tonight, so it's just the two of us for now since Sano, Misao and Aoshi left this morning. We can go for a walk. That should be okay. We can go out for as long as you want, we can stop and get something to eat anywhere you chose, and even go walking some more after that."

He nodded numbly. "Where would we usually go when we went out, before? What do I like?" He asked finally, hating that he would even have to ask, not even knowing what he liked.

Kaoru smiled in reassurance, "You aren't picky and neither am I. We usually just end up at the nearest spot to us at the moment we decide we are hungry. However, we do especially enjoy going to the Shirobeko."

"Okay."

………………………………………………………………….

'_Riiiiiiinnng'_

'_I'm coming, I'm coming! Just hold on a minute!'_ Kaoru thought as she dashed to the phone, hoping to answer it before it could wake Kenshin who had fallen asleep on the sofa.

Looking at the caller id as she picked up the receiver she noticed it was the number from her dojo in Tokyo.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kaoru!"

"Oh hello Misao! Um…what are you doing at the dojo?"

"Practicing with Aoshi! You did say we could use the dojo when we wanted." Misao reminded her.

"Yes, of course." Kaoru agreed. "So did you need anything in particular, Misao, or were you just calling to talk?"

"You know I always like talking with you, Kaoru!" Misao laughed, "But, there is something, you remember that tournament you were trying to set up earlier this year with some of the local dojo's?"

"Of course. The plans fell through; only one was available to participate. We needed more."

Kaoru remembered being disappointed. The any profits made would have gone to a local children's hospital. There had even been a lot of interest in the community over it and it would have been good publicity for any of the dojo's that would have been involved. However, to make it all worthwhile, more than two dojo's would have needed to participate.

"Well," Misao continued, "Maekawa Sensei just called. He said to let you know that most of the dojo's you had invited before have been trying to contact you. When they couldn't, they called him thinking that he might have better luck getting a hold of you. Anyway, it looks like they want to go ahead a schedule a tournament now!"

"Really? I'd love to!" Kaoru nearly squealed in delight then stopped, remembering Kenshin was still asleep. Thinking about Kenshin also reminded her, "Oh Misao, I can't right now. I can't leave Kenshin yet. He really does still need me here."

"Hmm…" Misao thought for a minute. "How about bringing him here? I bet he would enjoy the watching the tournament. I'd even make your travel arrangements right now, if you'd like! I think you should get here as fast as you can so you can give your students plenty of practice time. I know Yahiko is still leading the lessons for you right now, but they do need your help."

"Well, that's a great idea, but I'll need to talk to Kenshin first to see how he feels about it."

"Of course." Misao agreed.

"Oh, could you do me another favor, Misao?"

Kaoru could practically hear Misao's grin over the phone. "Of course! Anything for my _Bestest_ friend in the whole world!" Misao chirped then giggled.

Kaoru nearly rolled her eyes but refrained, that was just how Misao was.

"Call Maekawa sensei, let him know I am interested. Also let him know of about my situation and that I'll call him with my answer as soon as I can. I'd do it myself, but we always end up talking for so long. I'd like to talk to Kenshin now, not get caught up in what will turn out to be a _lo-o-ong_ conversation."

Misao giggled again, "So you're sentencing me to that long conversation first?"

"Yep."

This caused Misao to laugh, but she managed to respond, "No problem, Ill talk to ya later, bye!"

"Aoshi!" Misao called, bounding into the dojo's main area. "I think Kaoru's going to be coming home finally!"

……………………………………………

After Kaoru hung up the phone she went to check up on Kenshin. To her surprise, he was sitting up waiting for her.

"Hey. I thought you might sleep longer than that. How are you feeling?" Kaoru asked.

It had been almost two weeks now, since he had been released from the hospital, but he still got tired during the day.

"I'm fine. Who was that Kaoru-san?" Kenshin responded to her question then asked curiously. He had woken while Kaoru was still talking and overheard a small portion of the conversation.

"Oh, that was Misao. She said that…"

_**BANG!**_

She was interrupted by the front door being slammed open and they both jumped.

"KENSHIN!" Hiko's voice bellowed.

Kaoru grinned, "I guess Hiko-san is home. I wonder if Michiko-san is with him."

"Stop that Seijuro! You can go find him and talk like a civilized human. There's no need to go around hollering. This isn't his fault, and you'll give everyone a headache if you keep that up!" Michiko's velvet voice reached them as she scolded Hiko.

Kaoru's grin widened as she watched Kenshin's eyebrow lift in question. "I guess that answers that, now doesn't it!" Kaoru giggled.

"There you are." Hiko's gruff voice came from doorway.

"Did I do something wrong, Hiko-san?" Kenshin asked, puzzled.

"That's Shishou to you, deshi." Hiko said absently before answering Kenshin's question. "And no, you haven't. I have to go to Tokyo."

"So you yell at Kenshin for it, Hiko-san?" Kaoru teased, knowing Hiko's actions were the side affects of his worry over Kenshin. She also knew Hiko well enough to tell he was concerned about leaving Kenshin in Kyoto, alone (not that he was alone, he had her, but Hiko didn't ever think anyone was as good as him for company).

Hiko scowled at Kaoru, who just smiled in return.

"You're leaving?" Kenshin started feeling a bit apprehensive. From the little he had heard of Kaoru's conversation, she would be returning home soon and now it seemed Hiko was leaving. That left Michiko, but it would only be natural for her to go with her husband if he were leaving for any significant amount of time. He would be left alone. Alone was one thing that he didn't want to be right now. Sure, for short periods of time it was okay, but not for whole days, not yet. He was too unsure of himself right now. He still had no memory; however, he had started having nightmares. The last two nights he had woken up in a cold sweat. He couldn't remember exactly what he had dreamed. The only thing he could remember was blood. His dreams were filled with it.

"Yes, and you're coming with us." Hiko responded.

"What?" Kenshin looked at him, startled.

"What do you mean what? You didn't honestly think I would leave you here alone did you? I know Kaoru-chan here will need to return to her dojo to train for her tournament, so you not going to Tokyo isn't an option."

Kaoru nearly growled at Hiko's use of chan for her, unfortunately he had always used it when he called her by name. She supposed it was better than when he called her 'girl' which he did often enough, but it was still annoying. He would probably never change, so there was really no use complaining. However she was extremely curious.

"How did you know about the tournament? I only found out about it a few minutes ago!" Kaoru exclaimed.

Hiko gave her a arrogant 'because I know everything' look. "How do you think?"

Kaoru's eyes widened in realization, "You did it?"

"Of course!" Came the smug reply. "Your father told me about you trying to organize it and how your plans fell through. Well, I do have a lot of influence with most of the dojo's in Tokyo. I thought I would 'help' you out."

Kaoru laughed, "What did you do, blackmail them, Hiko-san?"

"_I_ don't resort to such things." Hiko responded haughtily.

Kenshin snorted softly, "right."

Kaoru and Hiko both turned to him with strange looks.

"What do you mean by that, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked curiously.

Kenshin stared at them, confused. "I…don't know. It just came out. I apologize Hiko-san, that was very rude and uncalled for." His brow furrowed as he looked down and muttered, "Why would I say something like that?"

Hiko gave him a smirk, but Kaoru just smiled, "Don't worry about it Kenshin, it's alright." She turned back to Hiko, "So you got them to agree to the tournament!" she asked, changing the subject so Kenshin wouldn't dwell on his 'rudeness.' "Thank you!"

Hiko nodded in acknowledgement then turned the conversation back to Kenshin. "You need to pack, but only bring enough for two weeks. You had better hurry too because we're leaving tomorrow. You will need casual and dress clothes, by the way, and be sure to bring that tux I bought you last winter, also you will definitely need your practice clothes and your formal gi and hakama and everything you have in the box that's with those."

Hiko stopped rattling off his list when he caught Kenshin's expression of overwhelmed confusion.

"What's the matter?" He asked roughly.

Before Kenshin could answer Michiko entered the room and smacked Hiko lightly upside the head. "I'm sorry Kenshin, is he being overly bossy again?"

"Well…" Kenshin started to answer.

"Of course I'm not." Hiko interrupted. "I'm just telling him what he needs."

"But…" Kenshin tried again.

"Yes, and you didn't exactly give him a choice in the whole matter, Hiko-san!" Kaoru giggled, interrupting Kenshin again.

"It's not…" Kenshin started to protest.

"Seijiro, did you even think that possibly he might want to know what everything will be for? Maybe he won't want to attend everything you want him to." It was Michiko who interrupted this time.

"Can't I…" Kenshin attempted.

"I'm not going to force the boy to attend everything! I just want him to have the clothes if he does decide to attend something." Hiko defended himself, not letting Kenshin finish.

"That's…" Kenshin tried once more.

"Why don't I believe that?" Michiko shook her head at her husband then turned to Kenshin, "I'm sorry, dear, were you saying something?"

Kenshin suppressed a sigh before giving her a small smile and shaking his head. "No, Michiko-dono."

Three sets of eyebrows went up at the return of Kenshin's favored honorific. He hadn't used that since he had lost his memory.

The surprised expressions caused Kenshin some concern.

"Is something wrong?" He asked politely, not wanting to offend any of them.

Kaoru beamed at him. "No Kenshin, nothing's wrong. Are you sure you didn't have something to say before?"

Kenshin did sigh this time, "It's just that I don't want to be in your way. I can stay here."

"Oh Kenshin, we want you to come." Michiko said gently. "This is something we do every year with the company and we always have you come. We would have given you more warning, but unfortunately, this year there are some problems that require us to go to Tokyo sooner. Normally we wouldn't be going until for another two weeks. Koshijiro usually has things all arranged before hand. It seems, however, that the people he left in charge have run into some problems that require Seijuro's personal attention. You have come with us every year since you met Seijuro."

Kenshin nodded in understanding. "I see. I suppose I would have at least known it was coming up if I could remember going before."

The others inwardly winced at his reference to his memory loss but chose not to say anything.

"You mean this is for the annual company ball?" Kaoru inquired.

"Of course, girl, what did you think it was for?" Hiko responded gruffly.

"Well, aren't there several events that go on in conjunction with that?"

"Yes."

"And don't they take up the better part of two weeks?"

"Get to your point child!" Hiko growled, but everyone could see he wasn't as irritated as he made himself sound.

Kaoru grinned at him. "So wouldn't Kenshin need at least three or four week's worth of clothing?"

Hiko nearly rolled his eyes, "Out of everything, _that's_ what you're concerned about?"

"Well?" Kaoru prodded.

Michiko laughed, "We thought it best he only pack for two weeks so he didn't have so much to pack and haul around. If he needs more, we'll get it for him."

"Okay!" Kaoru exclaimed before Kenshin could protest. "Are you going to stay for the tournament afterwards?"

Kaoru was happy that the situation with Kenshin was resolved and if she waited until after the everything was over for her father's and Hiko's company, it would give all the dojo's that would be involved with the tournament time to prepare.

"We'd love to."

…………………………………………………………

The next day found Hiko, Michiko, Kaoru, and Kenshin on their way to the airport to fly to Tokyo. Kaoru had called Maekawa-sensei to start the preparations for the tournament. She was excited to hear that no less than twelve dojo's would be involved, possibly even more.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Okay, I'm not really sure what to think of this chapter myself, so I truly have know idea what anyone else will think of it. This chapter had to take place, though, and I needed them to go to Tokyo. Also, I have to apologize for how long it has taken me to post this chapter. I have been working on the prequal for this and that is what has been delaying me. I realized that in order to make things go the way I want them to I need Kenshin's background in detail, thus the prequal. I believe I will call it 'Found' (at least that is what I'm calling it at the present time). I haven't decided if I will post it or not (it's mainly being written, as I said, to keep 'Lost' on track and for a things that will be popping up soon.) That being said, I will be continuing to write and post on my both things I'm writting, it is just taking me a while longer to do so. (Not to mention- Life likes to get in the way of anything I want whenever possible! Oh, and I get sidetracked rather easily )

I also wanted to thank **starfruit-22, Plutobaby494, DragonWolfStar, Onhiro, Anonymous but very interested, **and** kingleby** for reviewing. I appreciate you so much, and I hope I don't disappoint with this chapter.

Well, that's it for now. I hope you are enjoying this thus far and that you continue to do so. If you're in the mood, let me know what you think- I'd truly appreciate it. However, if not, I hope you enjoyed it anyway!


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